Albuquerque, New Mexico

The first stop on CYORT (Create Your Own Reality Tour, don’t expect me to tell you again) led me up the I-17 and over to the 40. A fun detail about this, is that I recently tried DMT (sorry mom, deal with it) for the first time on an adventure to Sedona, AZ. During my experience I was laying on my back and staring up at the moon (which was very visible even though it was in the afternoon) listening to “Elements,” a beautiful album by Italian pianist/composer Ludovico Einaudi. Luna was traveling through a mountain range and once she’d cleared it, the mountains closed in on her and transformed into a rising Phoenix. I can’t even begin to articulate the layers behind that vision, but it became prophecy (something that has been happening to me A LOT lately, especially when it comes to dreams). As I was driving I audibly exclaimed “HOLY SHIT!” when I made the connection, within two seconds a large bird of prey flew over my car… Needless to say, I lost my mind in excitement a little bit (an emotion I channeled into shameless sing along’s and car dancing). I decided to try out the couch surfing thing, and that’s how I was linked up with Kristoper, a super awesome and nice dude who made me feel comfortable and welcomed. One thing I will say about him, I only saw that motherfucker eat raw cookie dough, it was bizarre and charming all at once. When I met him he was slightly intoxicated because he’d gone “hashing” (a new term for me, that has more to do with drinking and going on a run and less to do with weed) that day. I had a little bit of time to spare before I had to perform so I joined him at the “hasher” after party, which is just drinking while stationary. *I’m laughing right now because that fucker next to me is yelling at his dogs again* The party was happening, the people were great, and the condo was swanky as fuck. Moving forward, the show had me opening for two great comedians from Denver, CO… I’ll add their names later once I confirm spelling and all that jazz. It felt a little bit like happenstance, because I’ve been hypothesizing on how to make a show in Denver happen in April, and it sounds like I’ll have some help with that now. After the show the other comedians and audience members (mostly local comedians as well) rocked some kareoke and I did my best Kate Bush impersonation. I reconnected with my host and met him plus some of his friends downtown. We went to a few bars, which was okay, the real high point of that experience was meeting fake Jon Snow, only he also looked a little bit like Rafi from “The League” (I took the liberty of inserting both of their photos into one of those baby picture making websites, I’m still awaiting the results but I’ll add it at the end, I’m considering getting all “Inception” with it and seeing what their baby would look like if it had a baby with me). My friends (they’re my friends as well at this point) totes cock blocked me and made me leave with them, but we exchanged numbers. He was all about texting me back when he was drunk, but the next day when I texted him he wasn’t having it… Which is fine, scaring off boys that I am interested in is kind of like a talent of mine, much like attracting the ones I want to go away (sidenote, I usually TRY to scare those ones, and somehow it entices them more, probably because they’re dumb idiots, it’s kind of a problem). I planned my trip so I would have some time to explore on Sunday, which led me to two witch stores (my term, the general term is “New Age”), and I totes scored a new tarot deck that really needed to belong to me AND some black kyanite! Kyanite is totes one of my fave witch rocks, agh and herkimer diamonds… but I digress. I would like to take a moment to recommend “Blue Eagle” if you’re a mystick type and find yourself in the area, the man working that day was a beautiful soul and the energy was off the charts when I was picking my witch rock. We nerded out a bit about the vibrations of various kyanite colors and then discussed the misguided (in our opinion) business of spellcasting for strangers in exchange for cash. We agreed that we would do it for free, and only if it’s offered to people we love. You can’t buy our magick! You can pay us to teach you how to do it though, that was the consensus. After I was done running around, my host interviewed me for his podcast. It’s called “Two Bottles, One Couch” he and his co-host Emily interview various people that crash at his pad. Emily was out of town, visiting her friend in DENVER (weird, right?) so we set it up as a facetime interview with her friend, Sheryl, also present. We talked about my weird witchcraft, drinking your friend’s period blood as a sacrament, and baby giraffes (when it comes out I’ll give the deets). After the interview we hung out through our phones a bit longer, and it was decided that Sheryl would host me in Denver (happenstance as fuck). It was a full moon that night, so after Kristopher went to bed I set up a little bit of witchcraft on his patio and called it a night. Before I left I made sure to write Kristopher a nice note, I included a coyote tooth (I don’t know why I do it either, just let it be).

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